So, I’ve pretty much had tinnitus most of my adult life. Mostly because of being a retard and standing next to loud speakers in clubs and bars and blasting my CD player (remember those?!) at max volume when I was younger, every fucking day. It has always been at a low level so it was manageable. To be fair I never even noticed it.
If you didn’t know: tinnitus is otherwise known as “ear ringing”. It can manifest in many forms but for me it is a unrelenting, 24/7, dog whistle-like “EEEEEEEEEEEEE” in my head. Note that the noise isn’t real; it’s usually caused by hearing damage and the brain tries to “fill in” the sounds that are missing. Fuck you, brain!
So anyway, a couple of weeks ago I woke up with a clogged ear. I likely pushed ear wax too far in with a Q-tip (pro tip: never fucking use fucking Q-tips in your ears! Ever) and immediately knew I fucked up in the morning. Now this happens more often, usually my ear pops on its own after a day or so. It didn’t now and I was practically deaf because of it. So I decided to get my ear syringed at the doctors’ office. What this means is they’ll inject lukewarm water into your ear to cause the excessive ear wax to come out. It failed.
So I went back after a week as it got really annoying not hearing anything. This time the doctor was more thorough and lo and behold: my left ear popped. Great! I could hear again. Better than in 10 years’ time, I’d even say. The next day, I went and got my booster COVID shot. That same evening, the “EEEEEEEEE” got massively louder and I got a lower tone in my left ear. Well whoopee. Naturally, I went on the internet to research as I couldn’t sleep the first couple of days.
Turns out there’s roughly a 0.006% percent chance of getting tinnitus through a booster shot (or at least the one I got). Additionally, there is a 0.45% chance of developing tinnitus through getting your ears syringed.
PRETTY FUCKING SPECTACULARLY LOW CHANCES, RIGHT?
Yet, here I am. Regular readers, of which I assume there are billions, might know I suffered from kidney stones and scabies recently.
I thought those were the worst in terms of, let’s call them, sensory perceptions.
I was wrong.
Fuck. My. Life.
End review: 0/10. Do not recommend. Perhaps worse than kidney stones and scabies.
Protect your fucking ears and don’t get them syringed without applying ear drops for at least a week!